Boys Keep Swinging Chapter 9
May. 29th, 2010 03:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nothing_rhymes_with_iantoChapter Summary/Teaser: Melanie and Lindsay have a decision to make. Michael reacts badly and makes a big mistake. Brian has an unexpected visitor who shakes up his view of things.
Brian slammed the door of the Corvette closed and walked slowly toward the diner. He was uncertain as to whether he wanted to go in or not. He wasn't sure if he could stand seeing Justin right now. He wasn't even sure if he could stand to see Debbie, especially after their "conversation" the other night.
He glanced through the window as he passed, and stopped. He couldn't go in. He could see Justin bussing tables through the slats in the blinds. The young man looked exhausted. But Brian couldn't, wouldn't go in. The purple and yellowish bruises and the scabs on Justin's face were still visible. He watched Justin lean over a table and wince slightly, putting a hand to his ribs. Brian couldn't stand the sight of Justin injured, even bruised, not after all that had happened; the bashing, Pink Posse, the bombing, they'd all made it so hard for him to stand seeing Justin even remotely sick or in pain.
He grimaced at the fact that Justin had such an effect on him, even now, but he turned and got back in the car anyway. He didn't want to see those bruises. They made him feel sick, himself. He didn't bother with lunch, turned and went back to Kinnetic, ignoring Cynthia's confused look at why he'd been out for only five minutes.
He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. Okay, he'd admit it, he missed Justin. It was just like six years ago, the last time he was with Ethan. Brian couldn't get his Sunshine out of his head. Every blonde head he saw, every trick he fucked, turned into Justin. But he couldn't stand the thought of Justin with someone else, being fucked by someone else, loving someone else. It hurt. And he didn't know if he could believe that Justin hadn't been seeing Ethan, that Ethan had just walked up to him in New York. Even with Justin, his nature just didn't allow him to be that trusting.
Why was it that whenever he tried not to get hurt, he ended up hurting more? Whenever he pushed Justin, or anyone, away for both his and their own good, he ended up hurting and tired and unable to sleep? Why did Justin have such a solid grip on him?
Cynthia came in quietly and placed a pile of papers to be reviewed on his desk. He nodded in her direction, thanked her mentally and pulled the pile to him, pushing Justin out of his mind and forgetting himself in work.
"What?" Melanie looked astonished.
Lindsay schooled her features into the same patient face she used with Gus. "I think we should move back to Pittsburgh. Gus keeps saying he wants to go back. I know that your old firm isn't as successful without you. Brian told me when I asked about things going on down there. And, frankly, I miss it too. Pittsburgh is my home."
"Yeah, home where we get yelled at and spit on every day."
"It's not much better here, Mel. Yeah, gay marriage is legal here. And we're both their legal guardians and parents. But Gus still gets made fun of at school for having two mommies. And when people at the gallery ask about my husband, and I tell them that I'm a lesbian, they still give me that self-righteous sneer that I got back home. The laws are different here, Mel, but the people aren't."
"Lindsay, we made a commitment. We have to stick to this."
"I know. But I'm sick of it. My job is awful, you're in still in school half the time, and the other half you're working at a job that's far beneath your experience and credentials. We've been here for almost four years, Mel, and it hasn't gotten any better. Nothing's really changed. I think it's time to go home."
Melanie opened her mouth, closed it again. Even though she was an excellent lawyer, she had absolutely no response to that, no rebuttal. She sighed. "Maybe you're right. At least it'll get everyone else off our backs to go back and visit. I'll think about it."
"Thanks, Mel." Lindsay gave her a quick kiss, then hurried off to attend to Gus, who had been calling her for the last few seconds.
Melanie stood there in the living room, considering Lindsay's suggestion. She, too, missed her home in Pittsburgh. But she also believed (ironically, she thought) in commitments, and keeping them. But Lindsay was right. It was harder living in Canada and having to start, quite literally, everything over again, than it was to be in Pittsburgh. She sighed and sank down on the couch to think about leaving.
She could hear Gus in the kitchen, talking to Lindsay. "Mommy! Did you ask Mama about if we can maybe kinda sorta go home? Did you?"
"Yes, Gus, I did." She heard Lindsay's soft reply.
"What did, what'd she say, Mommy? What did she say?"
"She said she'd think about it, okay, Gus? It's a big, grown-up decision and it takes a lot of time."
"Okay, Mommy." Melanie heard the rustling of paper. "Look what I drew! It's me, and you and Mama and Jenny and Daddy and Justin!"
"That's very good, sweetie."
Justin breezed into Debbie's house, plopping down on the couch beside Emmett. Daphne had to go and visit her dying grandmother in Minnesota, so Justin was temporarily staying on Debbie's couch. He felt like he was nineteen again, shuffling between houses with a duffle full of his stuff.
"Hey, Emmett." He put his feet up on the coffee table. "Watcha watching?"
"There's an I Love Lucy marathon going on, and what queer would want to miss that?"
"I can think of a few." Justin grinned and flapped a hand at him. "But, what the hell, I'll join you."
They laughed together at the antics of the characters onscreen, sharing a tub of ice cream. Soon, Michael clomped noisily into the house. Noting the extra guest on the couch, he rolled his eyes.
"You're here too? Jesus."
Justin rolled his eyes, annoyed, and took another spoonful of ice cream. "Don't worry. I'm living with Daphne. She's away right now so I'm staying here. I'll get my own place in a bit. Then I'll be out of your hair."
"Ah." Michael reached into the cupboard for some cereal. Justin could see that his eyes had taken on a sort of gleam, but he wasn't sure what to make of it.
Emmett handed him the ice cream carton and half turned to him, one eye still on Lucy and Ethel stuffing chocolates into their mouths and down their blouses. "So, Baby, what are you going to do, now?"
Justin glanced at Michael for a moment, then decided he really didn't give a damn what he heard. Michael couldn't really hurt him; for some reason he hadn't really grown up past the age of fourteen, and Justin knew now that his mindset and things were just bullshit whiny pouting, and who cares what he thought of him, especially now that he'd been to New York and back and survived? He rolled his eyes again as he caught Michael glancing back at him out of the corner of his eye.
"Not sure. If Brian quits being an ass, I guess I'm staying here. I might fly back to New York and do some gallery searching. I don't make my agent do all the work, you know.
"Good for you, Baby. Although I'm sure it isn't hard for you to find galleries that want your work."
"No, it isn't, but I like seeing them in person beforehand. And I like talking to the other artists. Plus, I need some excuse to visit the friends I've made in the Big Apple."
"Yeah, but what about Brian?"
"I dunno. If I try to talk to him, he shuts me out. I still need to think about what he said and what I want, you know? So for now, I'm just gonna sleep on it." Emmett seemed to get the idea that that was the end of the conversation (thank god for his observation skills!) and turned back to the television.
Emmett wondered for a moment just how much of Brian and Justin's relationship was like this- blind fumbling, improvisation, dancing around feelings and conversations until they forced themselves out in fights or fucking or something a little more tender. He wondered how much of it was Brian trying not to break and Justin trying not to break him.
Emmett watched Justin's expression out of the corner of his eye as he watched TV. He wondered how much of Brian Justin got to see that no one else did. He wondered what could have kept him with Brian besides the sex and stubbornness and wild untamed quality of Brian fucking Kinney. But then he remembered parties and get-togethers in the last eight years, and observing them together when they thought no one else was looking.
He remembered glimpsing the two of them during one Christmas at Debbie's- when the girls and Justin were both home- sitting on the couch, watching Gus play with his new toys. Everyone else was in the kitchen or outside, playing with Jenny and her new set of 200 Crayola sidewalk chalks. But Emmett had come inside for some tea and had glanced into the living room. Gus was sitting on the floor, playing with some new building toy he'd gotten. Brian and Justin sat on the couch, watching him. Brian's arm was around Justin's shoulders, holding him close. Justin had one hand on Brian's thigh, the other one playing with the fingers of hang on his shoulder. They were talking low, smiling. Justin said something that made Brian laugh, a low, throaty, comfortable laugh. Justin leaned up and kissed Brian's throat as he threw his head back. Brian squeezed Justin's shoulder gently, then they both turned and watched Gus again. Brian had a look of incredulity on his face, as if he was amazed that he had Justin and Gus together. There was a smile on his face that was open and happy, and a look of pure love in his eyes. Emmett paused for a moment to take in the gentle scene before him, before hurrying to the kitchen, pretending he saw nothing.
So, really, Emmett knew that nothing could keep them apart. There was something between them, some incredibly strong, powerful pull that had never broken, not through cheating or cancer or disagreements or even hundreds of miles away. He smiled to himself. He knew, whether Justin and Brian realized it or not, that despite what their friends said, despite what they and everyone else believed, Brian and Justin would never truly be apart. And it was only a matter of time before the pull brought them together, stronger than ever, just the way it had each and every time before.
Michael sat at the kitchen table, munching on a bowl of Cap'n Crunch Berries. He watched Emmett and Justin talking and laughing on the couch. He remembered when it used to be him and Brian on that couch, but now that wouldn't happen because Brian was right and he was an ass. But that wasn't right, that wasn't right at all. Because Michael was right, too. Brian and Justin never had a real relationship. They were never really together, they didn't live a normal life. What kind of relationship consisted of fucking and breaking up fifty million times?
A cell phone rang and Emmett jumped up. "Oh, that's me. Probably that crazy bridezilla calling again. They want an Asian wedding, all these crazy traditions. It's driving me nuts. Ta!" He hurried upstairs to answer the call and look through his datebook.
He sat there, staring at Justin, wishing he could make the kid disappear, or melt, or something. Justin felt Michael's eyes on the back of his head and turned around to stare back.
"What?"
Michael looked away first. "Nothing."
Justin gave him an annoyed raised eyebrow that he'd obviously learned from Brian and turned his attention back to the television.
Michael got up and hurried outside to his car. He wanted nothing to do with Justin, especially since he'd been right about him and Brian not having a relationship. He'd been fucking right, and Brian had just been an ass. What was his problem, anyway? Why the hell hadn't Brian helped him? They'd been friends for ages. Why hadn't Brian done what a best friend would do and been on his side about the whole goddamn thing? He got to his car and flipped open his cell phone.
"Yeah? Hello?" Brian obviously hadn't looked at his caller ID.
"You're a dick. Why did you let me get hurt that way? I was fucking right about you and Justin. You have no relationship, you just keep fucking and breaking up. That's not a relationship. Hell, I don't know what the fuck that is. Anyway, you should have helped me out, been on my side. It's always been that way. I was right about you, and you were just a complete jackass. You should have helped me. You're my best friend. Best friends help each other out."
"Michael." Brian's voice was cold, incredibly stark and commanding. And it was his full name. It made Michael shut up immediately. "I have been helping you for years. I've helped you since you were fourteen. I helped with your homework, rescued you, gave you money, got you out of whatever stupid-ass situation you got yourself in this week. I've saved you, helped you, given you money, gotten you dates. I think it's time someone else helped you for a change. Like Ben, or someone that really loves you." He said the word like it was poison. "I'm done giving you help. I'm done. Goodbye."
The sudden silence on the line made Michael jerk back. Fuck. He snapped the phone shut, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying as slamming a phone down on its cradle, so he threw it onto the passenger seat. Well, that was great. He sat in his car just staring for a long time. His husband was on drugs, his mother was pissed at him, and his best friend was no longer his best friend. He had no one to talk to, to open up to or complain about his problems or ask for advice. His life was fucked.
Melanie lay awake, listening to Lindsay's soft breathing beside her.
Move back to Pittsburgh.
It was a thought that was circling in her head. She didn't know whether to hold onto it tightly or let it go away. It was extremely tempting. It shouldnt be so alluring, but it was. Ad her tired mind just kept rolling it around. She missed her old house. She missed her friends, her family, even her job back in Pittsburgh. And unfortunately, Lindsay made a really good argument.
She heard JR calling "Mama?" softly and slipped out of bed before their daughter's cries could wake Lindsay. She padded into Jenny's room and sat down beside her bed.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"Bad dream. Sing?"
"Sure. I'll sing to you. Just get nice and comfortable. Here's your bear." Jenny snuggled down into her blankets and clutched the blue teddy bear to her chest. Melanie ran a hand across Jenny's hair, soothing her, singing her a lullaby that her grandmother used to sing. She waited until JR's eyes had slipped closed and her breathing had evened out before stopping.
Then she just sat and watched her daughter's slumbering face. If they moved back to Pittsburgh, Jenny and Gus would both be near their daddies. She knew Gus missed Brian like crazy. And she knew Michael wanted to see JR a lot more, but he didn't have the money for so many plane rides. She might be able to get her job back, Lindsay could get something better. Maybe going back would be good.
She gave Jenny a soft kiss on her forehead and went back to her own bed, sliding in beside her wife. She closed her eyes, but sleep still didn't come. Move back to Pittsburgh. She watched it circle in her brain.
Brian lay sprawled on the floor, watching television. He had run out of weed and for once was not in the mood for Beam, so he was actually sober, which made watching television either extremely boring or extremely maudlin. As he stared at the screen, he kind of wondered why he was still lying there.
Someone knocked on his door and he ignored it, turning his attention back to the television. Another knock a few seconds later, and he lugged himself off the floor to answer the goddamn door. With a sigh, he dragged the slab of metal back. He immediately regretted the decision and wished to god some weed would fall on his doorstep right now.
"What do you want? Fuck off. He's not fucking here. You got what you wanted." He started to close the door, but a hand came up and stopped the sliding metal. That fucking fiddler was ridiculously persistent.
"Wait! That's…that's not why I'm here. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause all this trouble. I sought him out in New York. I just sort of showed up at his gallery. I surprised him. He told me that he still loved you, and that he had no feelings for me. I wasn't with him when he was hurt. He walked out of the gallery before me. I was hardly five minutes behind him. I found him on the ground and used his cell phone to call his mother. I didn't want to call you, because I didn't want you to think the wrong thing. I…I'm over Justin. I understand that he loves you. I just wanted you to know that he wasn't cheating on you. I….guess I should go now…"
Ethan turned and made his way slowly down the stairs. Brian sagged against the door frame and stared at his receding back. He felt drugged, punched, stunned. An ache spread through his chest, clogging his throat and clouding his eyes. Fuck. He had just made the biggest fucking mistake of his life.
Chapter 10
