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nothing_rhymes_with_ianto) wrote2010-06-21 03:53 am
Boys Keep Swinging Chapter 17
Chapter Summary/Teaser: Michael begins to get over losing Brian. Justin and Lindsay are at odds, and they have a fight in which Justin clarifies something. Melanie comes to a realization and needs to make a decision. A small band of friends, or at least sympathetic individuals, is formed.
Justin woke up and stretched, as best he could with Brian wrapped around him. He turned in his lovers arms and watched Brian's face as he slept. He smiled at the gentle peace that finally seemed to settle over him, as compared to the fear and traumatic remembering that had creased and hardened his expression the night before. He'd let Brian sleep, he needed it after the stress of last night. He settled back into the warm embrace. Brian nuzzled closer. Justin drifted back to sleep.
When Brian woke up, they ate and then just drifted about the loft, enjoying the comfortable silence. Justin knew that Brian was trying to process everything they had dug up the night before. He decided to let him have his space to think, and went off to his studio to paint.
When he came back, Brian was staring blankly at the computer, only a small amount of work done. Justin tentatively touched his shoulder, and when Brian didn't shrug him off, he put his arms around him from behind and put his head on Brian's shoulder.
"I know you're worried about me. Look, I'll be fine. I let you take care of me when I get hurt or if I need help, but you don't need to think about it all the time. You have other things to worry about. Like your businesses and your son."
"I know. It's just…I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to lose you again and I never want to have to pick up the phone in the middle of the night for you."
Justin moved around and sat himself down in Brian's lap. The brunette made a small noise of protest until Justin began trailing small kisses along his neck and jaw, a gesture reminiscent of years ago.
"I'm okay. I'll be okay. Nothing like that will happen."
Brian nodded, but he wasn't sure he believed it. He worked the rest of the night and then they went to bed and fucked. In the morning, Brian was still moody and brooding, but Justin stayed in the loft and they worked in comfortable, friendly silence. Justin was aware of the lingering looks Brian would cast his way from the computer, though he pretended not to be.
It went on for about a week. They both felt strangely content and comfortable together, at this point in their relationship, but also felt almost frightened at the fact that old truths had been revealed and that there was so much pain from years ago. They both knew there was still so much more pain deep inside, and that they'd have to deal with it all sometime soon.
A call came from Lindsay asking if Justin and Brian wanted to come over for a visit, saying that she wanted to talk and that Gus missed them. Brian insisted that Justin go, but he wasn't ready to face the Munchers, and he really wasn't sure what to say to Lindsay at the moment, anyway. Justin agreed. It had been almost a week since the conversation that night, and they really hadn't been out all that much. His visit to Dykeville would also give Brian some time to think about what to do about the girls in the first place.
Ben let Michael mope around and mourn for his lost friendship for about a week before he got fed up. Michael knew his husband was getting annoyed with his sulking, so he tried his best to stay happier. Ben also tried his best to distract Michael from his misery. They went out to see movies, went with Hunter to a concert or two, went out to dinner multiple times and just generally tried to keep Michael amused and his mind off of Brian.
Michael hoped his missing Brian would lessen. He knew that they had grown apart in the last three years, because of the fights between Brian and the girls, because of the fact that Michael had Ben and Brian hadn't had Justin, because of the differences that were growing larger than their similarities. He just hoped that maybe Brian would stay a little bit in his life, and not drift completely away.
But he was extremely glad to have Ben by his side. Now they told each other everything, because it was time for Michael to have a new best friend, and that meant that secrets needed to be shared and memories needed to be passed on. Michael was glad for this because he got to learn more abut his lover.
It made him sad, though, the thought of not really having Brian to talk with or hang out with. They used to smoke weed and eat enough food for a small army and joke about their high school days or just insult each other back and forth (with Brian always winning), but those afternoons had stopped after Justin left. A lot of things had changed once Justin left for New York and the girls for Canada. Now that everyone was back home, maybe it was time to start something new.
"Jus'sin!" Gus hurled himself into Justin's arms. "Guess what I got? A new monster truck. I started to set it up and then Mama called me down for lunch. Wanna help me with it after?"
"Sure, Gus." Justin was a little disoriented by the speed at which Gus was talking, but then Melanie's voice floated through to them.
"Gus, come back to the table, your lunch is almost ready." Lindsay shut the door and they followed Gus to the dining room. Melanie noticed Justin. "Want a sandwich, too?" she asked. He nodded. Gus and Justin talked about his new monster truck and what was on TV today until lunch was ready.
"Lindsay tells me your show was incredible." Melanie commented as she put a sandwich in front of Justin and another one, plus a plate of sliced pears and carrot sticks in front of Gus. Jenny was taking a nap. Justin smiled a little and ducked his head. He was automatically humble around his friends when it came to his art, the exact opposite of the way he was around Brian.
"Thanks."
"Justin, you are amazing. You're a genius, honestly!"
"Jus'sin's a genius?" Gus asked. "Why?"
"He's a brilliant artist, Gus."
"Oh. Okay." Gus went back to picking at his pears. Affairs like art didn't concern his young mind, he was too interested in dinosaurs (his plate had dinosaurs on it) and monster trucks.
Lindsay joined him at the table. She plucked a carrot stick off Gus's plate and bit into it.
"Seriously. You're work was amazing. Awe-inspiring. It was like watching our lives grow and change ever since you appeared."
"Apparently, she thinks the work you did while you were in New York was stunning." It was a little understated. Melanie grinned sarcastically at him. Justin smiled at her.
"It's true."
Justin shrugged. "Well, I had more inspiration besides Brian. Sort of."
Lindsay slapped her thigh with a dishtowel, and frown on her face. "So why aren't you still in New York? Your work was amazing."
"Because I came back. It was time, and Brian—"
She cut him off. "He's keeping you here." Justin saw Melanie move to intervene, then think better of it. "You shouldn't let him tell you what to do. You had more inspiration in New York than here. He's making you stay." He and Melanie stared at the blonde woman. Justin felt something in him build all of a sudden, then burst. It was bad enough getting this shit from Michael.
"Haven't you all gotten this through your head already? When are you going to understand? He's not making me do anything! I'm here because I want to be. He doesn't control what I do! I can think for myself."
Justin glanced at Gus and breathed deeply, calming himself. He almost wanted to laugh. The inspiration that he'd had in New York hadn't always been Brian, but it had always had to do with Brian. He'd gotten so much intense, negative emotion out of the ordeal with Gus and Brian and the girls when they were in Toronto, that it had been enough inspiration and passion to create many pieces.
"He's right, Lindsay." Melanie cut in. "Brian's not forcing him to stay in Pittsburgh. He's staying because he wants to."
"But—"
"Hold on a second." Justin's voice was commanding and cold. He bent down next to Gus, who was picking at the last of his carrots. His face and voice softened. "Gus, you done eating?" Gus nodded. "Well, why don't you go upstairs. I'll be up in a second and I'll help you set up the rest of your new monster truck, okay?"
Gus nodded again and headed upstairs. Justin waited until he heard the boy's bedroom door close before turning his angry stare back to Lindsay. "I'm not subjecting Gus to any more fighting. If you want to talk, we will do so civilly. I am staying here because I want to. I am not going back to New York."
"But—"
"Linds, you heard him. Brian isn't keeping him here. Hell, I don't think Brian would even have a choice whether he wanted to stay here or not."
"Oh, now you're on Brian's side? That's a laugh."
Melanie glared. "I'm not on anyone's side. I'm just stating what I believe to be true."
"Lindsay, I'm only going to say this one more time. If you cant get it through your head, that's your problem. I'm not going back to New York. Now, if you don't have anything good to say about me or Brian, please stay out of our lives. And for Gus's sake, don't talk about it around him. He doesn't need any more bitching parents."
Lindsay stared at him, open-mouthed. Justin pushed his chair back and headed upstairs to play with Gus.
Michael sat at his desk, staring at something in his hand. He had been attempting to clear out the cluttered, extremely messy space that was his desk and work space, sorting through drawers and throwing out unneeded papers, when he came across a photo. He stared at it a long time. It was him and Brian, years ago, probably seniors in high school, maybe older. They had their arms around each other, but they're making weird faces and Brian is obviously attempting to get out of his grasp.
Ben came in to get something and noticed his still form. He saw the photo and pulled it gently from his lover's grasp, putting it under another pile of papers.
"Michael?" his voice was soft. Michael looked up. "Look, I know you've always love Brian. But you need to try to get over him. If you need to talk, I'm here."
Michael sighed and looked up at his husband, then he took his hand and they both stepped over to the bed. Michael sat down and Ben put an arm around him. Michael made a sort of helpless gesture, then sighed again and began to speak.
"I've always loved Brian. Always have, always will. I know you know that. But we've been friends for years. More than half my life has been spent with him. Most of my best and worst memories involve him. He's saved me and helped me with everything. He just….he was everything to me for so long. We took care of each other, you know? It's been that way for so long, I don't know what to do."
"Turn that responsibility to me. I'll take care of you, Michael. You can talk to me and tell me whatever you want. I'll help you in any way I can."
Michael smiled softly. He could do that, he thought. He'd spent the last four years with Ben more than Brian. He could give Ben the role of confidant. He nodded.
"Okay." Then he looked at Ben's soft eyes trained on his face, took a breath, and began to talk, telling his history and memories to the man he loved.
"What the hell was that about?" Melanie wheeled on Lindsay as soon as she heard the front door shut on Justin's retreated back. They had sat awkwardly in silence at the dining room table as Justin played with Gus. After a while, Melanie had stood and taken the dishes into the kitchen to wash them and clean up, but Lindsay had stayed where she was. Now Melanie was standing in front of her, hands on her hips, glaring down at her wife who sat in the wooden dining room chair with her hands folded in her lap, staring at her curiously.
Lindsay shook her head slightly. "He should be in New York, you know. With a talent like his, an ambition like his, it's perfect. It's what I'd do."
Melanie nearly yelled 'Aha!' at her sudden understanding. Lindsay'd never had the incredible talent that Justin did. And when she met the boy, she was suddenly a good friend, a guardian, maybe even a teacher, to what she had always wanted to be. And so she lived vicariously through Justin, through his art and his distress and inspiration and emotion and through his success. She had planted the seed of New York in Justin's brain, not only because she thought it would be good for him, but also because she could imagine it was actually she, herself, going to The Big Apple rather than Justin. She had hid her greed and self-centeredness under goodwill and selflessness.
Melanie saw her wife clearly for the first time in what seemed like years. After a while, she had forgotten what that polite, smooth WASP expression hid. Now she remembered. She could see the manipulative schemes that were often hidden behind her apologies and assistances. She could see the calculating bitch beneath the sweet pale blonde.
"He's not you." Melanie answered coldly. Lindsay looked up at her with a nearly innocent expression, but underneath she could see the cunning.
"What?"
"He. Isn't. You." Melanie wondered if she needed to spell it out. She knew that Lindsay was conniving sometimes, but this just seemed to not even be comprehendible to her. "He doesn't want to be in New York anymore. He's done with it. I now you'd stay there longer. Hell, you'd stay there forever, but Justin doesn't need to. Everything he needs is here in Pittsburgh."
"Brian's not in a real relationship with Justin. I was talking to Michael the other day. He doesn't think so, either. They can't be in a real relationship. I mean, look what we have compared to what they're like. They break up about every four months or something."
Melanie stifled a scoff. Yeah, what do we have? She thought. Lies and deceit. No trust. No hugely bonding experience or connecting need or anything even resembling the support and codependency that Brian and Justin have on each other. What do we have? Just a ridiculous need to get laid and feel loved and accepted. Oh, yeah, and to try not to hurt the kids.
Instead she snorted. "What? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I know that Brian and I don't get along, and I know that we've been at odds for years, but even I can see how much he loves Justin. Even I can see that they're a real couple."
"Why the hell are you on Brian's side all of a sudden?" Lindsay glared at her, angry face pinched tight.
"I'm not on Brian's goddamn side, although maybe I should be! I'm just voicing what I think. What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know what to fucking do with you. I'm at the end of my goddamn rope, and you're not helping. I don't think I can stand this insanity. I'm going out, I need some space. No, I don't know when I'll be back. No, I don't know if I'm even going to be coming back."
She grabbed her coat and stepped outside, needing to walk somewhere, anywhere, to get this angry, nervous, furious energy out of her veins. She began to think about her problem, and how to solve this ridiculous muddle and the shambles her marriage was falling back into.
Justin slammed into the loft, hair disheveled and cheeks pink. It wasn't too cold out, but the wind had whipped him around as he had jogged back towards the loft, then detoured and walked briskly about, trying to shake off his anger and restlessness. It hadn't worked, he realized, as he kicked off his shoes and they went flying away from him harder than necessary, slamming down to the floor with a bang.
Brian raised an eyebrow from his desk. "What's your problem?"
Justin yanked off his jacket and tossed over the back of the couch, walking around and joining his garment on the cushions, muttering to himself. "Fucking Lindsay. Goddamn her. How old does she think I am? I can think for myself can't I? I control what I want to do. I'm not some stupid seventeen year old anymore. What the fuck does she think you're doing, chaining me to the bed?"
Brian raised a brow. "Kinky. What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Goddamn Lindsay! She thinks—oh fuck, never mind."
"Don't 'never mind,' Sunshine. What does she think?"
"She thinks you're keeping me here in Pittsburgh. That you're forcing me to stay." Brian opened his mouth to say something, but Justin knew what was coming and headed it off. "You're not, Brian. If I wanted to be in New York right now, I would be. You know that. I hated it there after a while. I knew it was time to leave, and it was. And I don't want to go back unless it's only temporary. I make my own goddamn decisions. I belong here, with you, and I don't want to let Lindsay or any of our other so-called 'friends' get in the way of that."
"Our friends are assholes, Justin."
"Yeah, I know." Brian tugged him close. Justin muttered something into his chest and Brian frowned.
"Huh?"
"Chicken soup and fucking French dudes."
Justin felt his lover stifle a laugh. "What the fuck do those two things have to do with anything?"
Justin gritted his teeth at the memory. "Michael came in here and tried to make you chicken soup when you were…sick. If he'd known you at all, especially when you're sick or fucked up, he'd know you never have any food, especially the shit to make chicken soup from fucking scratch! And Lindsay—I think Lindsay tried to marry that French guy just so you could stop her and give up your custody of Gus and she could feel closer to you. And so she could have both you and Mel in her life at the same time. Hell, I think she kinda wanted to marry you instead that frog, just to have you as her own. She's a manipulative little bitch."
"Yeah, I noticed that after she took my kid to Canada."
"I'm sorry I couldn't be with you more for that."
"Sorry's bullshit, Sunshine. And you were there enough. Everything's pretty much all right now."
"Sort of."
"Right. Sort of."
Justin changed the subject. "What's for dinner?"
"I was thinking Chinese." Justin nodded.
They ordered the food and fooled around until the buzzer rang. Brian let the guy up. A knock on the door signaled the arrival of dinner and Brian slid the door open, raising a brow in surprise as he was greeted by the presence of not one, but two expectant individuals. He paid the delivery guy, who shrugged and headed back downstairs, then moved away from the door to let Melanie in, handing a couple of the takeout boxes to Justin, who went to sit on the sofa.
"Kung Pao chicken?" he offered the frowning attorney, holding out one of the boxes. Melanie shook her head, walking around to standing in front of them as Brian stepped over the back of the couch to sit beside Justin, who had the soy sauce. He took it from him and put it on his food, then looked up.
Brian raised an eyebrow expectantly. Justin just stared at her with a vaguely interested look. She fidgeted for a moment, not used to being caught by both of their stares at the same time. It was worse than any bitchy judge or intense attorney.
"Listen…I don't know how to explain Lindsay's actions. I just want to say to both of you, personally, that I do not agree with her. I believe that you are back here of your own free will, Justin. And I don't think Brian would have the balls to force you to stay here if you really wanted to be in New York, although he might try." Brian frowned, but there was mirth beneath it; he knew it for the compliment that it was. "I know that I was the one who gunned for leaving the country, but after the seeing disaster that my relationship with Lindsay is, I changed my position. I don't think we were ready have anything to do with a change that major, especially with the new start our relationship was going through. I want to apologize for any grief we gave you."
Brian frowned slightly. "What the fuck's all this about?"
Melanie took a breath, rubbing her hands against the sides of her thighs. She looked at the pair seated on the white couch. "I'm going to leave Lindsay. I don't think I can take her crazy ideas and the arguments that she brings up any more."
"Mel, what about Gus and JR? They'll be devastated. I know. I remember what it's like."
Melanie nodded. "I know." She turned to Brian. "That's why I'm willing to give up my custody of Gus. I think. I…I don't want either of our children to be hurting. They need parents that won't ever stop loving them, that will think of the kids' needs first instead of their own. Brian…I think you showed that while we were in Canada. Lindsay and I were too wrapped up in our own fear and our own anger and our own problems, we didn't see that it was hurting our children and that it was hurting us, and even you two as well."
"Jesus Christ, Melanie. Are you sure you want to do this?" Justin blew out an incredulous breath.
Melanie stared at them both, then turned to Brian. "I don't know. Are you willing to give me some time to think about it?"
Brian nodded. Melanie sighed and sagged slightly. Justin jumped up and led her to sit down on couch beside Brian. In a strangely uncharacteristic move, Brian put an arm around her shoulders. This time she was the one to arch a brow.
Brian pushed his tongue into his cheek. "Hey, those who disagree with Lindsay have to stick together. She's got some powerful guns and some heavy ammo."
Chapter 18